Lets talk vaginas & breasts. Yet, lets dive deep into vaginas & breasts without shame, embarrassment or insecurity. Shame seems to surround the female body like a nasty cold you cannot seem to get rid of. Women are told from a young age what to wear, what is considered “risqué” & what warrants our bodies being violated. We are forced to cover our nipples yet have our breasts on constant display- open to harassment, gawking & analyzation. We are teased if our breasts are too big, too small, different sizes, non-existent, early developed or late developed. Men seem to think our breasts hang off our chest like handles for them to grasp & fondle as they fall further from grace, without consent or any bit of pleasure.
Young girls are sexualized because of their bodies while also being humiliated, controlled and/or reprimanded. We hold so much power through our sexuality but if we begin to harness that prowess we are labeled as sluts or loose. Our vaginas literally bring life into this world while also being the brunt of jokes by men who want our vaginas to use and abuse. The constant anecdotes and references about our vaginas smelling like fish, being too dry, looking like meat, being too wet, too puffy, too hairy or too small. While men’s sexual organs are often hidden behind clothing, away from scrutiny & stigma until they take a picture of it and send you a truly unwanted dick pic.
Women are often so detached from their own vaginas because they have been indoctrinated at such a young age to hide them, not use them, to be a “good girl”, to close their legs & the degradation that comes from all that nonsense lasts a lifetime. We are so scared for our first gyno appointment, we have no idea what that discharge is, whether its typical or not & what the hell does an orgasm feel like anyway. We are ashamed when we get yeast infections, bacterial vaginosis or our periods, whether our smell is normal & ok or doomed to be made fun of in locker rooms & frat houses. We don’t want to go into stores to buy Monistat, tampons or condoms fearing the looks & assumptions from strangers. Condoms; she’s a slut. Monistat; she’s dirty. Tampons; she’s gross.
Some women are so disconnected with their bodies, that their own flesh feels foreign to them, owned by someone else, unworthy of love, affection or exploration. Mostly, we are not taught about masturbation or self discovery, while many men don’t take the time to transverse a woman’s body either, only worried about their own penis getting into something wet & then quickly out to dry. We are taught that our physical appearance is above all else yet are instructed to “be smart” & not get raped because certainly it is in our control. Our beautiful forms are used as an excuse for rape & assault & we are deemed at fault if we show too much of our bodies. Certainly our bare skin was just asking for that invasion & next time we will for sure wear pants, not make eye contact or close those blinds.
We are called a tease if we don’t put out, we are forced if we change our mind or branded a whore if we want it just as badly as a man does. We are labeled as liars whether we accuse with freshly made bruises or after decades of emotional trauma & denial. Women are automatically guilty while people simultaneously scream “innocent until proven guilty”- yet only for male perpetrators of course. Dress codes are almost always for women, banned & removed pictures on the internet too; nipples are okay but only if on a males bare chest.
Our bodies are constantly demeaned & dissected, starving diets, purging food, cutting skin, sucking out fat, injecting this, inflating that, wanting the perfection that society expects yet isn’t even real to begin with. We are inundated with unrealistic images of body proportions & told to “suck it in”, “cover up” or “get it fixed”. Our brains are just as sexy & potent as our physical forms & just as disrespected & disregarded.
The female orgasm is like a magical unicorn, something you have read a lot about, so you want it to exist, you think it might exist but you aren’t too sure if its actually real. Women are told to please their man otherwise they will find someone who does or take it from you no matter how hard you fight & say no. Many times consensual sex consists of lying there & taking it without much pleasure for us. Oral sex means putting a penis in your mouth while there are numerous videos on YouTube about how disgusting it is for a man to put a vagina in their mouth. Yet many women cannot climax without that mouth on their vagina, but so many are so insecure about their wonderful fragrant flower, they would rather, just, not. Neglecting their own pleasure while providing for someone else’s. Constantly.
When will we be able to own our bodies, know their worth, their power & the necessity of its pleasure while holding onto righteousness. When are we allowed to show our skin without fear of being violated, raped, leered at, harassed, scolded or banned? We are disadvantaged because we are women, spoken down to, hushed, pushed aside while also expected to run households, put out, take that, suck this, clean that but above all, shut the hell up.
Our vaginas are so powerful, so beautiful & so unique. Take that power, own it & use it to your advantage rather than your disadvantage. Reclaim your body, your mind, your worth, your sexuality & desires- demand better, demand something, demand respect, attention & justice. Cast aside the shame that is forced upon us & buy that anti-fungal cream with your head held high. Fight back like hell, against the normalcy of misogyny preserved & so deep rooted in our systems that even our fellow sisters scream LIAR in our faces.
Women who are so wrapped up in male dominance that they turn their backs & cast shame onto women who are already overflowing with it. Mothers of sons so unable to grasp the inherent sexism in our society & unwilling to even begin to fathom that they in fact, are raising someone who will probably assault a woman in their lifetime. If there was ever a time to support women, it is now, right here, this moment, our time. Believe women. Support women. Elevate women. Because ladies, we deserve nothing less & we demand so much more.